Dreams and Disasters
by jusXtrust
Summary: Lyon has been waiting for over seven years and he finally got his chance. Gray won't remember and what was there to loose? Set just after time skip. Seriously rated M for a reason. Read warnings before continuing.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Dreams and Disasters

SUMMARY: Lyon has been waiting for over seven years and he finally got his chance. Gray won't remember and what was there to loose?

Rating: Mature

A/N: Set after time skip but before GMG. One-sided Lyon/Gray. I'm not going to say that there is Natsu/Gray, but I'm also not going to say that there is. Maybe OOC Lyon. Seriously rated M for a reason.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**WARNINGS: NON-CON**

/-/-/-/

Rain poured down from the heavens and after a sound of distant thunder, Natsu sighed. He was tired and hungry and still just a bit angry that the conductor had only tossed him off the train. It wasn't like Natsu wanted to get sick on others. At least it had only happened on the last leg to Magnolia, he'd make it back to Fairy Tail in a few hours and he was already looking forward to beating Gray to a pulp. It was all Gray's fault anyways.

He would completely beat Gray up, that stupid ice idiot wouldn't know what hit him. As Natsu practiced out a punch, his stomach let out a loud growl. Natsu frowned and rubbed his stomach. He hoped Mira had something good cooking. A large turkey leg would be nice. With a steak on the side. And some of her famous soup.

His mouth watered just thinking about it. Unconsciously, Natsu sped up. He slid a little in the mud, but compensated easily enough. Rain never bothered him and his clothes were only slightly damp. Although, Natsu knew that if Lucy were she'd be inside Horologium by now.

By the time Natsu arrived at the guild doors, it had been dark for hours but by the sounds of it things were just starting to get good inside. He kicked the doors open. "I'm back!"

There was a momentary pause as a few people acknowledged him and Natsu waved back. He spotted his team mates at a table closer to the bar. Lucy smiled brightly as Natsu walked over.

"About time, Natsu!" Happy mumbled out, his voice muffled by the fish he nibbled on.

"You could have come and gotten me." Natsu sighed as sat down besides Erza.

Happy looked towards the window. "Cats don't like water."

The storm had not let up. Lighting lit up the sky and thunder followed soon after.

"Maybe we should head home soon." Wendy said to Carla.

Lucy pushed her left over plate of chicken and potatoes towards Natsu. "Here, you must be starving."

"Thanks!" Natsu smiled and quickly polished off the plate. It wasn't enough, but it took the edge off enough that Natsu felt significantly better.

"Did you even breathe, flame brain?" Gray asked.

"I'll breathe when I want to, ice bastard!" Natsu yelled, his hands slamming down on the table.

"I hope this is friendly banter." Erza said. She frowned as she took a sip of her tea.

Natsu chuckled as Gray's nervous laughter turned into a coughing fit.

"What's wrong with you, ice prick?" Natsu asked.

Gray glared back. "Nothing, matchstick."

"It's a wonder that your furniture survives as long as it does," Lyon said, "if this is how all Fairy Tail brawls start."

"Huh, when did you get here?" Natsu asked, his eyes wide.

"He's been sitting there the whole time." Lucy said.

"Idiot." Gray muttered.

"That's it." Natsu stood, his hands slamming against the table. "You wanna go, ice princess?"

"Anytime, anywhere." Gray jumped up with his shirt suddenly missing, but the effect was thrown off when Gray sneezed.

"How in the hell does an ice mage catch a cold?" Natsu asked.

"Shut up." Gray said. "Cold or no cold, I'd still beat you to a pulp."

"Natsu, go get something else to fill that bottomless pit." Erza said. "Gray, sit down."

Natsu mumbled under his breath as he made his way to Mirajane. As he waited to put in an order with her, he turned around to glare at Gray. Lyon pressed a drink into Gray's hands as Juvia appeared with Gray's shirt and a bottle of what was probably cold medicine. Gray reached out to take them, and Juvia seemed to have melted when Gray's fingers brushed hers.

Natsu had no idea how Juvia kept up with Gray. It was rather impressive. When Natsu went back to the table, he sat down with a sigh. It seemed like Erza was not in the mood to put up with any crap tonight. He should call it an early night. The mission had been tiring enough without the added walk. Luckily no one was hurt this time, but it seemed like they were all exhausted. Lucy looked ready to fall asleep and Happy was already cuddled up next to Wendy. Gray looked ready to tip over. Erza seemed to be the only one unaffected.

"Natsu-san," Wendy said softly, "now that we know you're safe, Carla and I are going home. See you later!"

"Wendy, wait! I'm coming too." Lucy snapped up at that and hurried after Wendy. "Good night, everyone!"

Happy curled up on Natsu's lap as he started on his dinner. He would be damned if he didn't eat something filling before going home. The last thing he ate was at breakfast with the team before heading back. And he had lost most of that on the train ride. All because of stupid Gray. Natsu growled and looked around for Gray. He was just going to punch him once. Then they'd be even.

He was surprised to see Gray looking a bit tipsy. The ice mage stumbled, but before he could actually trip, Lyon caught Gray's shoulder.

"You probably shouldn't have mixed the medication with beer." Lyon said.

Gray glared at Lyon, but that quickly turned to Gray closing his eyes and Gray's knees buckling.

Lyon grabbed Gray before he could hit the ground and pulled Gray's arm across his shoulders. "Okay, I'm taking you home."

"Juvia will accompany you to ensure Gray-sama is resting properly." Juvia tried to follow the ice mages out.

"It's okay, Juvia-chan!" Lyon said with a smile. "I'll take care of him. You should go home and get your beauty rest."

Juvia blushed. "Juvia would much rather follow Gray-sama."

"It's alright, Juvia-chan. I'll take care of him."

Before Juvia could put up another protest, Lyon and Gray were out of the guild.

/-/-/-/

Lyon opened the door to Gray's apartment and without turning on a light, he easily maneuvered them to Gray's bedroom. He tipped Gray onto the mattress and began pulling off Gray's shoes.

With shaking hands, he unbuttoned Gray's trousers and eased them off, exposing Gray's muscular thighs. Even after Juvia had found Gray's shirt, Gray had somehow managed to lose it again under the span of five minutes.

He pulled the covers from the bottom of Gray's bed and spread it across Gray. The covers only went up to Gray's navel, just under a perfect dip of muscle.

What was he thinking?

Lyon sighed again. Moonlight made the room glow, a strip of pale light slashed across Gray's chest, making the skin there shine. It looked softer than the rest, more perfectly smooth than the blackest ice. Nothing was exactly new. Gray had stripped down to nothing before in public. But, here, alone in Gray's room, with him sleeping so soundly, so unnaturally still. It was new. His fingers were trembling, he wanted to touch again. Just to see. Just a little bit. Gray wouldn't know. It couldn't hurt, could it?

Stop. He has to. He has to, before he crossed the line.

Lyon carefully avoided all of Gray's skin and he yanked the covers up to Gray's chest. The dark blue blanket matched perfectly with Gray's guild mark. All of it just covering up the slightly chilled skin beneath. Gray looked so peaceful, his expression no different than when they were kids. When Gray would fall asleep before him, and Lyon got a glimpse of the little boy Gray used to be before he was lonely and angry. Gray's hair was messy, a bit of it laid across his eyes. Lyon's fingers thoughtlessly brushed them out of the way and then his hand lingered at Gray's temple.

Gray's hair was softer than it looked. Lyon trailed over Gray's cheekbone and back across the temple before tracing the scar across his forehead. The skin there puckered inward, a dark line across an otherwise smooth surface. For Lyon, Galuna Island was a long, long time ago. The scar was still vivid, still a bit pink even in the low light. That above all else, made Lyon realize that Gray was still eighteen.

Almost nineteen, but still eighteen. And he was twenty six, going on twenty seven. In a way, he couldn't believe that he was a full eight years older than Gray. Because Gray wasn't supposed to be like this. Gray should be twenty five. They were supposed to grow up together. They were going to forgive each other. They were going to be brothers again.

Gray's eyes were a bit more sunken than normal and his nose a little red from the sneezing. Lyon stroked Gray's bottom lip, it was slightly chapped. When Lyon's fingertip went past Gray's lips, Lyon couldn't help, but dip in a bit further. It was warm and wet and Lyon felt himself harden.

Lyon clenched his fist. If Gray knew, Gray would hate him. But Lyon may never get another chance.

Lyon pulled his hand away and stripped off his clothes. He leaned forward, pressing his chest against Gray's and his legs made room between Gray's legs. It felt good. Too good. Lyon couldn't help, but thrust just a little bit, the thin fabric of Gray's boxers the only thing standing between them. And just like that, like an explosion, Lyon stopped holding back.

Lyon crashed his lips against Gray's. He moved past Gray's slack lips and traced whatever he could reach. One of his hands went into Gray's hair and found a firm grasp in the thick locks. Lyon tugged back a little, forcing Gray to tilt back a bit, allowing Lyon to reach further into Gray's mouth. Lyon's other hand trailed down Gray's abdomen before reach under and squeezing Gray's firm behind.

Gray tasted a bit bitter from the medication and alcohol. Lyon dug for more, searching out Gray's entire mouth. Lyon's thrusting became faster, he was rubbing against Gray's thigh and pushing the boxers up until there was bit of soft skin against him. Gray's skin felt so cold on his dick. When he could no longer hold his breath, Lyon pulled back and gasped. Gray inhaled sharply, but otherwise gave no movement.

Suddenly, Lyon realized what he'd been doing. But he couldn't stop. He started to thrust erratically. Gray recoiling stiffly with each thrust, his perfect lips still slightly parted, his eyes closed in the innocence of sleep, and his raven locks mussed.

Lyon came with a sob.

/-/-/-/

Gray woke up feeling like he forgot something. His eyes springing open to stare at the white ceiling of his bedroom. The windows were open, letting in a soft spring breeze and from the blazing morning sun, Gray could tell that it was getting near noon.

Was there a mission today? No, they just got back from one yesterday. Gray should probably get to the guild and find out.

He started to get up when he felt a slight sting. The inside of his left thigh looked a bit pinker than usual. Gray frowned. Did he get in a fight yesterday? It didn't hurt very much, but it was an odd place to get a friction burn.

Shrugging it off, Gray stood up and swayed. His head still hurt and the room blacked out at the edges. He took a deep breath and waited for the world to steady. His mouth tasted funny, and it wasn't in the hang over way. Gray made his way slowly to the bathroom and got ready for the day. When he finally made eye contact with himself in the mirror, he found his hair messier than usual and his lips a bit swollen.

What happened last night? He remembered being a bit sick after the mission, it was really just a slight cold, but Juvia was insistent that he take the cold medicine she had somehow brought with her. He had been having drinks with Lyon and at some point he had gotten into a spat with Natsu, but he was pretty sure Erza put a stop to that.

Did something else happen? It must have been one hell of a night if he couldn't remember a single thing about it.

Gray put it out of his mind and started looking for his clothes. After searching his entire apartment, he could only find his trousers. He couldn't find his boxers and had to pull a new pair from his supply closet. It was odd; he normally doesn't strip completely, but he knew it would happen once in a while. But why did he still have his trousers? Gray sighed and left home without his shirt or jacket. Those were probably at the guild anyhow.

When Gray got to the guild, it was half full. He saw his teammates at their usual table, but Gray first went to the coat closet. Most of the guild used it as temporary storage while they were there, but Mirajane always put Gray's found clothing in there. Gray smiled when he found his shirt and jacket. He quickly pulled them on and went out to join his team.

Lucy was reading while Erza was cleaning one of her swords. Natsu and Happy looked busy eating, but Natsu bolted up as Gray came near. For a moment, Gray could have sworn that Natsu looked worried, then that disappeared.

"Fun night?" Natsu asked with a smirk.

"I don't remember." Gray frowned and rubbed at his temples, before looking back at his teammates. "I thought you guys could tell me."

"You don't remember?" Lucy asked. "I thought you just had, like two beers."

"What do you remember?" Erza asked.

"Drinks with Lyon and taking some cold medicine." Gray said with a shrug.

"Seriously?" Lucy sighed. "You really shouldn't mix alcohol with medication, Gray!"

"Tch." Gray rolled his eyes. "I know."

"Then why would you?" Erza asked.

"I think…" Gray sighed and rubbed his temple again. This headache seemed like it wanted to stay for a while. Gray tried his hardest to remember, if he reached the furthest he could he thinks he gets a glimpse of white hair and black eyes. But then it slipped away and he wasn't sure if it was part of a dream or not. "I don't know. It's hard to remember."

/-/-/-/

Natsu frowned to himself. Gray reeked of the other ice mage. And it wasn't in the light way that they usually do. When Lyon visits, he spends a good deal of time around Gray. It was only natural for them to smell similar. But Gray reeked of Lyon.

Natsu was oblivious. He knew it and he knew it's a problem of his. But just because he was oblivious, didn't mean he was stupid. The only reason Gray would have that much of Lyon's scent on him is if they had sex. But it didn't seem like Gray remembered that. Had Gray really been that drunk?

A thought twisted up from the depths of his mind and made his stomach churn.

Natsu growled, jumped up, and sprinted out of the guild. He was pretty sure Lucy yelled out his name, but he didn't have time to stop now. They could follow him if they wanted to. He rushed out and sniffed the air. It was a little hard at first, the city was bustling today and many of the scents mixed together, but he followed a trail to a little inn part way between Fairy Tail and Gray's apartment. He barged inside, went past the front desk, and towards the stairs. Up a flight of stairs and at the third room down the hall, Natsu stopped.

Lyon was still inside, but it didn't sound like there was much movement. Natsu banged the door open and found Lyon sitting in a chair near the window. Lyon looked surprised at his entrance, then angry.

"What do you want?" Lyon crossed his arms across his chest.

"You smell like Gray." Natsu said. It was a bit dulled, dampened but still there and still strong enough not to be a coincidence.

"Whatever." Lyon huffed. "If you only came here to state the obvious, I suggest you get the hell out of my room."

Natsu glared at the ice mage. "He reeks of you."

Lyon stood, his fists coming together as the temperature dropped.

Natsu rushed forward before Lyon launched an attack, grabbing Lyon's collar he pinned him against the slightly opened window. "What happened last night?"

"What does it matter?" Lyon said bitterly. "It's none of your business anyways."

"He's my friend." Natsu let out a growl, he could feel his fire at the back of his throat already clawing its way out from his fists. "What happened?"

Lyon looked away from Natsu, his body seemingly drained of fight.

"Did you fuck him?"

Lyon laughed, a hollow sound devoid of all humor.

Natsu growled and punched Lyon across the face.

"I was close." Lyon grabbed at Natsu's wrists. A line of blood started to leak from his lip. "I wanted to. And I was so close."

Natsu pulled back and punched again. Lyon offered nothing to protect himself. Natsu's anger burned brightly as his blood called for violence. Natsu wanted a fight or he wanted answers. But Lyon didn't seem to be offering either.

"I wanted to so much." Lyon said with a slight sob. "Fuck. What kind of big brother am I?"

"A piece of shit one."

"I suppose so." Lyon chuckled darkly. "Does he remember?"

Natsu slammed Lyon against the window again, a telltale crack splitting the silence. "Stay the hell away from Gray."

Lyon laughed again, it still sounded broken somehow. "You think Gray will just let me out of his life? After all the shit he's been through, you think he won't question my absence?"

"He doesn't need you." Natsu said.

"Yes, he does." Lyon said. "Goddammit, I wish he didn't. But he does. He needs me as much as he needs Fairy Tail."

"Shut up."

"You know it's true, Salamander. What do you think will happen if he finds out his big brother pretty much date raped him?"

Natsu stood silent. His fingers still clenched in Lyon's coat. Gray wasn't like that. Gray never needed Lyon when they were growing up.

"How broken was he before Galuna Island?" Lyon pushed back, forcing Natsu to let go. "It's only been - what? About a year for you. Tell me, doesn't he seem better now?"

It was true. Since Galuna Island, Gray had seemed lighter. As if the weight of the world was no longer on his shoulders. But that didn't mean Lyon had anything to do with it. Natsu was pretty sure it was more about Deloria than Lyon.

"Don't tell him." Lyon said as he grabbed the packed bag by his bed and headed for the door. "I'll stay away."

Flames licked up Natsu's arms and with a growl he tackled Lyon.

/-/-/-/

A/N: One-shot or Chapter One? I will leave that up to demand. Because I have nothing after this, but I do have an idea that I would like to follow. R&amp;R


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

/-/-/-/

Gray should get back home soon. It was getting near evening and he had also meant to pick up some groceries in town. Lucy and Erza had already left. Juvia had gone off on a mission with Gajeel, Levy, and Pantherlily. Elfman and Lisanna were gone somewhere too. Mira seemed too busy cleaning up. There really was no reason to stay any longer.

Gray sighed and stood up. As he walked towards the doors, Gray stopped short as Natsu came through the doors dripping wet. Usually, Natsu's body temperature could keep him dry.

"Did you fall in the river again?" Gray asked with a frown.

Natsu growled. "I need to speak with you."

"Maybe later." Gray sighed. "I'm going home."

Natsu yanked Gray's arm and pulled him forwards. Gray rolled his eyes and followed Natsu to an empty corner, away from the few people left in the guild. Only Macao looked over at them with a strange look crossing his features. It was no wonder, really, Gray and Natsu had very few clam discussions.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it." Natsu heaved in a deep breath. "Lyon took advantage of you last night."

Gray frowned, letting the words sink in a bit. He opened his mouth, intending to say something intelligible, but closed it when nothing seemed forthcoming. He took in a deep breath, confusion settling deep. "What?"

"Lyon took you home last night." Natsu said, looking slightly out of his depth. "And he felt you up."

"Stop messing around, flame brain." Gray said.

He turned around to leave, but Natsu grabbed his arm again.

Natsu scowled at him. "I'm not. Lyon felt you up."

"Natsu, seriously stop it." His hands curled into fists, his hold tightening by the second. He'd gladly punch Natsu in the face on a good day and now he was itching to tackle the bastard down.

"I'm not kidding, Gray." Natsu said, his eyes burned and flames began to lick around his fists, but his voice was still low. "I don't know how much clearer I can make this. This morning you had Lyon's scent all over you. I thought you guys slept together. But you said you didn't remember."

With a growl Gray leapt at Natsu. They crashed to the ground, something dug into Gray's side as he punched at Natsu's face. Natsu caught his fist before he could make contact.

Natsu rolled them over and body slammed him into the ground. Natsu pressed his advantage, tightly gripping Gray's shoulders. "You don't remember, but he wanted to fuck you."

Gray pushed Natsu off of him before jumping to his feet. As Natsu followed suite, Gray bent low and swept out with his leg.

"Hey, hey!" Mira called from the bar. "I just cleaned up, so you guys better not make a mess."

Gray glowered at Natsu. The few people left in the guild hall stared at them, none of them looking too surprised. Fights between them happened daily. With a sigh, Gray barged out of the guild. He wasn't going to make a huge scene. If they did, he was sure the whole guild would know this stupid story by tomorrow morning.

Gray heard Natsu yell something, but he ignored him as we stalked off. He was still angry when he got home. He went to the kitchen, intending to make himself something to eat before going to sleep. But when he opened the pantry, it was bare. Gray sighed. He slammed the doors shut and took off for his bedroom.

He grabbed his travel bag and began shoving his things in, he wouldn't need much. He'd get to the bottom of this. Then he was going to come home and kill Natsu for being a bastard. If he hurried he could catch the last train out.

/-/-/-/

"You stupid asshole!" Natsu shouted at Gray's back and kicked at a rock. "I'm trying to help!"

Natsu growled and considered running after the ice block. Then a familiar weight landed on his head and he couldn't help but feel a bit calmer.

"Happy." Natsu greeted.

"Natsu."

"How much did you hear?"

"I was following you since you went to see Lyon."

Natsu sighed. "You could have let me know you were there."

"You had things under control." Happy patted his forehead.

"I could have used your help."

"There's not much I could have done." Happy said, his tail gently swishing through Natsu's hair. "Do you think…" Happy peered down at Natsu, his eyes large and wide. "Do you think Gray believes you?"

"I don't know, Happy." Natsu sighed.

"I think he doesn't want to." Happy said.

Natsu hummed in agreement. "Come on, let's go home."

The night was a quiet one. Happy made dinner for them and they played a couple of games before going outside to watch the night sky. The stars twinkled above them. The constellations were bright tonight. Natsu stared at the sky. He always got lost in it.

There was more to think about than just Gray and stupid Lyon, but he couldn't seem to put them out of his mind. When Happy fell asleep, the night sky was turning a deep shade of blue. Natsu scooped him up and carried him to bed.

The next morning, Natsu walked into the guild hall intending to tell Gray that he stood by everything that he said yesterday. He hoped that he could drive home the fact that he wasn't lying. It wasn't that Lyon shouldn't be part of Gray's life, because Lyon was a large part of Gray's life and Gray shouldn't have to lose more, when he didn't have to, but what happened needed to be brought to light.

As morning slipped into afternoon, and afternoon turned dark, Natsu realized that Gray wasn't coming to the guild. Lucy and Erza had come and gone. Both of them wanted to take on a mission soon. Neither of them had heard anything from Gray since yesterday.

"Hey, Mira." Natsu called out as Mira gathered an order of drinks. "Have you seen Gray?"

"He came by last night before he left." Mirajane said. "I think he said he was going to visit Lyon. If you want him for your mission, you're going to have to wait a while before he gets back. He still seemed angry with you. What did you say to him?"

The background drone of the guild blended away. Natsu scowled. "I only told him the truth."

/-/-/-/

Lyon was nursing his sixth drink that evening. Ever since he came back from Fairy Tail, he hadn't felt up to much else. His thoughts kept drifting back to last night and Gray. Gray. His little brother who had been missing for seven years. Missing and not dead. Because Gray was alive and breathing just hours ago. He had felt his breath. He had seen him. The way the moon made the room glow. The way Gray felt under him. His skin cool and firm. He wished he could know how it felt to be inside him. The thought alone made him…

No. Stop. Stop. What was wrong with him?

Lyon took a deep breath and chugged the rest of his drink. With a loud sigh he slammed the mug onto the bar table, attracting a few curious looks from his guild mates. He's just slightly drunk. That's it. He couldn't keep thinking this way. He had rent to pay and missions to complete. He should just pick one now and leave. Then he'd have time to get his head together.

Plan in mind, Lyon stood a bit unsteadily and headed for the board. He'd pick a job far, far away. Somewhere hot and dry. Or cold and wet? What would make him forget faster? He reached out and fingered a few of the posts.

There was a job at the edge of Fiore, at the borders of Seven and Bosco. High up in the mountains, there was a small trading village with routes into the larger port city. Lyon could go there, so high up and cold that he'd be numb to everything.

He reached up for the post as someone came up behind him.

"Lyon, I need to speak with you."

"Gray." Lyon's arm stayed high in the air, fingertips just brushing an edge that had crinkled up a tiny bit. In that moment, Lyon knew the better option was to grab the post and run. The big brother in him knew that was for the best. If he took off then Gray wouldn't be able to follow him and Lyon could put some distance between him and last night. And all the nights of the past several years, when his thoughts had drifted and he foolishly believed that he'd be able to put it all behind him the moment he saw Gray. If he saw Gray. Some nights he hadn't thought Gray would ever come home. It was those nights that made it easier. Knowing that Gray couldn't be hurt by them, Lyon had let his thoughts run.

"Come on." Gray nodded his head towards the exit. "It's crowded here."

Lyon shook his head. "There's an empty table at the corner. No one will bother us."

Gray sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't want to cause a scene."

Gray spun on his heel and walked towards the exit. Lyon could let him go. Let Gray walk out the door while he took a side exit out. Lyon knew the area better; he could get to the train station in no time. Be on the train to the trading village and forget all about Gray for the time being. But he found himself following Gray out the front doors. He deserved anything Gray wanted to throw at him.

Gray brought them a good distance away from Lamina Scale, towards a grove of trees closer to the center of town. Lyon's heart rate rose with each step, the buzz from the beer disappearing before his anxiety.

Under the shade of the trees, Gray faced Lyon. Gray's white shirt was unbuttoned, the shirt tails flapped slightly in the breeze. His arms were crossed over his chest and the look on Gray's face was a little more stern than usual.

Lyon looked back, hoping that his cold confidence bled through instead of the nervousness currently curdling through his stomach.

"Lyon." Gray said as the breeze blew between them, sweeping Gray's hair into his eyes. "Natsu told me that you - damn." The pause dragged on as Gray seemed to mutter to himself. Then with a roll of his eyes and an exasperated sigh he said, "This is insane."

Lyon's heart beat erratically, but he tried his best to look bored. "What did the pink haired idiot say?"

"He said after you took me home, you…" Gray blushed, his eyes looking more towards the darkening sky than anything else. "You…also… touched me."

Tell the truth. Put an end to this craziness. He wanted to, he knew he should. Lyon would tell him the truth and allow Gray to decide on his fate. But somehow he found himself forcing out a scoffing laugh. "What?"

"He said you wanted to fuck me."

"No." Lyon frowned. That was easy enough to deny. He hadn't just _wanted_ to fuck Gray. He almost did. And he wanted more. He wanted Gray in his bed every night. He wanted to breathe him in at morning's light. He wanted to possess Gray's very soul so that no one else could ever venture near. It could be like when they were little. When it was just the two of them with Ur. When it seemed like nothing and no one else mattered.

But Gray looked utterly relieved at his denial. His shoulders relaxing and his eyes losing the frantic edge that Lyon knew shouldn't be there. Lyon felt his heart drop into his stomach and crack. It's better this way. As long as Lyon could hold it together and forget these stupid thoughts, he could still have Gray in his life.

It shouldn't be too hard.

/-/-/-/

Gray walked Lyon back to Lamina Scale, a slight smile gracing his face. He knew Lyon could never have done something like that. Natsu was being a stupid bastard. The next time he saw him, Gray was going to knock some sense into that head of hot air.

"Did you eat yet?" Lyon asked.

"No." Gray sighed. The last train out would probably leave soon. He'd had just enough time to grab dinner and head for the train station. Then it would be a sleepless night before he reached home. "I think I'll stay the night. Where's the nearest inn?"

"Around the corner, near the baker's shop." Lyon said, pointing towards the town center.

Gray nodded and was about to head off when his stomach gave a loud rumble. With a blush, Gray rubbed his stomach. He had skipped lunch in his haste to get here and now that he had his answers, Gray felt more tired and hungry than anything else.

"Wanna eat?" Lyon suggested, "Our cook may not be as good as Mira, but he'll sure give her a run for her money."

Gray nodded and followed behind. The night was clam and the half moon was just starting to shine brightly. There was a comfortable silence between them, something about it made Gray think about a different time when Lyon had tried his hardest to be his big brother. Gray knew he hadn't been good company then. He'd mostly been angry at the world. Maybe he and Lyon could go on a mission to spend some time together. It was a little odder now. With Lyon so much older than him, it really did feel like Lyon was his big brother. Gray felt like there was so much about the world he didn't know, but Lyon did.

When they made it back to Lamina Scale, Lyon led them up to the bar and they took their seats. It was much quieter than Fairy Tail. The guild was only half full and it was already mid-evening. By now, Fairy Tail would be jumping with everyone for dinner. Once they received their orders, he and Lyon both stared at their plate, waiting for the food to cool down. They shared a smile but as the minutes passed, Gray noticed that Lyon got quieter and quieter.

"What's the matter?" Gray asked.

Lyon smiled weakly, "Nothing."

Gray sighed. "If this is about Juvia…"

Lyon frowned and shook his head. "It's not about her."

"Then what is it?" Gray poked at his side of greens. The food was pretty good.

"I'm thinking of taking a mission." Lyon said. "Up in the mountains near Bosco and Seven. It's been a long time since I've been anywhere cold, I miss it. If I take it, I think I'll be away for a while."

Gray's eyes widened. "S-Class?"

"Really? Should that even be a question?" Lyon quirked an eyebrow up and took in a deep breath, "Along the trading routes I'm supposed to find a group of thieves. I think it's going to take a few months."

Gray nodded. "I've been thinking of taking on a mission as well."

Lyon frowned. "I don't need help."

"I wasn't offering." Gray said.

There was silence as they finished their meals. Gray noticed the guild hall seemed even quieter than when they first arrived. He wondered if Lamina Scale was comparatively a well behaved guild or if it was just that they had more members on missions than they did at home.

Lyon sighed. "I'll see you when I get back."

"Hey," Gray huffed, "at least have a drink with me before you go off."

Lyon smiled slightly. "So you will miss me."

Gray rolled his eyes, his arms crossed over his chest.

Lyon signaled for the barkeeper to bring over drinks.

It felt more comfortable after that, whatever had been bugging Lyon seemed to have disappeared. The silences weren't uncomfortable and their talks seemed to have shifted to catching up with Lyon. Gray had already known much about what happened to Lyon since Tenrou Island, but it seemed like every time they talked there were new stories to be heard. New things to learn about this new world.

They drank a bit more and the conversation seemed to get lighter. Gray only noticed how late it was when the barkeeper started closing up.

"Crap." Gray said as he gathered up his bags. "I'd better get going."

"If you want," Lyon said, "I have an acceptable couch."

"Well, I suppose it's better than walking all the way back to town."

"Tch, come on then."

The Lamina Scale dorms were pretty much the same as the Fairy Tail dorms. The rooms were about the size of a small flat, each one with their own small kitchenette and baths. Lyon lived on the third floor in a corner room.

Lyon flicked on the lights as they entered and tossed his keys on a small table next to the door, kicking off his shoes at the same time.

"It's not much," Lyon said, "but I'm really not here all that often."

Gray followed Lyon down the short hallway and into the open kitchenette and living room. Lyon opened the fridge and grabbed two bottles. Lyon opened up the drinks as Gray took a look around.

"If you keep drinking like this, you'll never make it on your mission tomorrow." Gray said.

"Shut up." Lyon glared at him as he handed him a bottle.

Gray grinned and took a long drink. He put his bag next to a side table and walked to the living area. Lyon's couch looked comfortable enough for the night. He sat down and leaned back. He supposed it would do fine.

"The bathroom is down the hall on the right." Lyon said as he sat down next to him.

Gray nodded as he took another sip.

"You know," Lyon said, "if you want to tag along, you can."

"I thought you said you didn't need any help."

"I don't." Lyon frowned. "I'm just saying if you wanted to see a real S-Class mage in action, you can come."

Gray huffed, his words were slow. "Like I need your help."

"From the looks of it, little brother, you need my help more than you know." Lyon said as he shifted a little closer to Gray.

"I was fine before you." Gray said heavily as his words began to slur. "And I'll be fine without you."

Lyon looked down at his drink and muttered something under his breath. It was a bit dim in the living room with only the light from the hallway.

"What?" Gray asked, leaning a bit closer. He felt tired for some reason; the edges of the room were getting a little blurry.

"I said, I wasn't." Lyon put his drink on the coffee table with more a little more force than necessary. "Seven years, Gray. And I wasn't fine."

"Oh." Gray shifted backwards and rested against the cushions. He felt like he went right through the cushions, they were so comfortable. "I didn't – that's not-"

"Not your fault." Lyon sighed. His hands shook as he waved him off. "It's not like you had any control over it."

Gray frowned. His eyes felt heavy and it was too hard to think.

"Seven years, Gray." Lyon said. "Half the time I thought I'd never see you again. Sometimes I even…"

Lyon heaved a great sigh and Gray tried to think of anything he could say. But it felt like his brain was stuffed full of cotton and it was hard just to make sense of the words coming from Lyon. His eyes blinked slowly and each time they closed, it was harder to get them to open again. In a moment of blind panic, Gray tried to reach out and tell Lyon that something was wrong. It didn't feel normal. He shouldn't be this tired. He needed to move NOW. But nothing responded and felt numbness spread through him.

"Sleep, Gray." Lyon gently took the drink out of Gray's immobile hands.

There was a soft click as Lyon placed it on the table. Lyon shuffled around and pulled Gray's legs around so he was settled onto the couch. As gravity pressed him down, fingers gently combed through his hair. He couldn't fight the pull any longer and he felt himself drift off.

/-/-/-/

AN: What do you guys think? Long enough of a wait? :] I'm such a slow writer. Thank you to all those who have reviewed, it means a lot to me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**WARNING: Explicit NON-CON**

/-/-/-/

Lyon sat on the floor by the couch, watching Gray sleep. What was he doing? What was he doing?

His fingers were in Gray's hair, absently stroking a bit of hair that didn't want to stay back. Lyon took in a deep breath and let it out. He was going to do this. He had already gone so far and Gray was out cold. He had to. This would be the only time. When he got back from the mission, he would be able to put all of this behind him. Gray won't remember. He'd be careful. So very, very careful. Gray won't know. And it was Lyon's last chance.

Lyon shifted up and slipped his arms under Gray. Hefting Gray up in a princess carry Lyon moved towards his bedroom. Gray was not light, but Lyon didn't mind carrying him. When he made it to the bed, he gently put Gray down.

Gray's breaths were soft and even. His dark eyelashes stark against his pale cheeks. Lyon unbuttoned Gray's shirt and slipped it off his shoulders, exposing his muscled abdomen. There was no turning back. No other excuse. He wanted him.

Lyon couldn't help but run his fingers lightly down Gray's chest before stopping at the trousers. Lyon's fingers shook as he unbuttoned them, but his desire was consuming. Pulling off Gray's dark trousers, Lyon came to see that Gray's taste in boxers never seemed to change. Lyon smirked a bit as he pulled the boxers off as well. Gray must have several pairs of the long black ones because there was no way Gray would be wearing the same ones day in and day out.

Carefully, Lyon set Gray's clothes on his bedside table. Lyon quickly stripped and then he finally turned back to the form on his bed. Gray was amazing. Lyon kissed him chastely before he began a slow exploration. Gray's skin was smooth yet firm, the power underneath so well hidden under velvet. There were scars and bruises. Scratches and scabs from frequent fights. On the inside of Gray's wrist, at one time there had been a deep cut. The skin had clearly healed over, the scar a bit shiny in the low light.

Lyon gradually flipped Gray onto his stomach and made himself comfortable between Gray's legs. Lyon slid his hands up Gray's thighs and let them rest on his ass. On Gray's lower back there was a large bruise, just about covering his entire mid lower back. It was turning yellowish, probably something Gray had from a recent mission. Lyon pressed lightly against the bruise and Gray gave a slight shudder.

Panic shot through Lyon's heart. Was Gray awake? Gray shouldn't have been. Lyon had been promised that Gray wouldn't wake until morning. No, no. Gray was out cold. Gray won't remember. This would be Lyon's secret. This would be his dreams and his fantasies from now on. He would take this night to his grave.

Lyon sighed and reached over for the bedside table drawer. He dug around until his fingers found a glass jar. He opened the jar and poured a good amount of oil into his palm before setting the jar onto the table. He rubbed the oil, making sure his fingers were well coated before turning back to Gray. Lyon was already hard. He took a steadying breath and gently slipped one finger into Gray. It was so warm and tight, Lyon wondered if he would actually fit in him. Lyon's dick pulsed at the thought and Lyon started to work at Gray. Pressing in and out until one finger had no problem.

He poured on a bit more oil as he began the process again with two fingers. This time he began gently scissoring, the tight muscle straining against his ministrations until Lyon worked it enough that it relaxed. As Lyon got more oil, he poured enough for both hands. He slipped three fingers into Gray and wrapped his hand around himself. He pressed in and out of Gray while he stroked his dick in time. He was so hard already. It would be difficult to hold back. But Lyon would because he wouldn't hurt Gray.

Lyon lightly flipped Gray onto his back again and slipped a pillow under his lower back, raising Gray up to the perfect height. Lyon poured a bit more oil onto his hand and ensured he was slick enough. Then he grabbed Gray's legs and lined himself up before sliding slowly into Gray. Lyon gasped as he went in. It was as perfect as he thought it would be. Warm and tight. Lyon pushed himself all the way in before stopping. He waited a few moments, his breaths coming deep and quick. Gray was completely relaxed, but Lyon wanted to ensure that he wasn't hurt. After a few seconds, Lyon couldn't hold it any longer and he began thrusting just a bit.

Lyon dived forwards, his lips seeking out Gray's and plunging into his sweet mouth. Lyon's thrusts were already erratic. Lyon pressed him deep and came.

It was so quick it would have been embarrassing, but no one else would know. Lyon chuckled a little, something that might have turned into a sob. He wasn't sure.

"You have no idea what you do to me." Lyon whispered.

He was soft inside Gray and he kissed him slowly before sliding out. Lyon collapsed next to Gray and pulled the younger boy towards him. Lyon breathed Gray in and with a slight smile he fell into a light doze.

/-/-/-/

Natsu arrived at Lamina Scale just as the sun passed its highest point in the day. The train ride had not been fun, but he had braved it. His head was still spinning a bit and his stomach still lurched once in a while, however he felt good enough to track down his idiot friend.

Lamina Scale's entrance was a set of steel gray double doors. Natsu took a moment to lean against them before entering. The guild hall was mostly empty, the barkeeper glanced up at him before returning to wipe at a clean glass. Here and there a mage ate their lunch quietly and Natsu stepped up to the closest guild member. A young girl with a dark maroon hair who was staring intently at her food.

He asked for Lyon's room and the girl pointed towards the back doors which lead to the dormitories. Natsu easily found his way from there. Lyon's scent mingled with Gray's and it brought Natsu to a corner apartment on the third floor.

He stood still for a moment, trying to detect any form of movement from inside. Natsu was met with silence. He gave a hard knock, but after waiting for a good minute, Natsu realized no one was going to answer. Natsu easily kicked the door open and walked inside.

The windows were wide open, letting a cold breeze flow through the open kitchenette and living room. The afternoon light shifted through the billowing curtains. Gray sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Natsu couldn't tell if he was wearing anything under the blanket that covered his lap, but a piece of paper was clenched in one hand.

The rest of the apartment seemed quiet and empty.

"Gray." Natsu frowned and walked carefully forwards. When Gray gave no sign that he had heard Natsu, Natsu looked carefully around again. It felt like something was off with the very room. "You okay?"

The paper in Gray's hand crinkled even more. Gray stood suddenly with a grunt, the blanket fell away revealing Gray's long black boxers. A few bruises marred Gray's pale skin, Natsu wasn't sure if they were there before or not. A couple of them looked new. They got into so many scuffles that Natsu was never sure how many bruises anyone had at any time.

Gray kept his face turned away while he took in a deep breath, before moving stiffly towards his bag.

"Gray?" Natsu stayed still, unsure if his help would be welcome at the moment.

"I'm going to get ready." Gray said softly. Still not facing Natsu, the ice mage haphazardly stuffed the paper into the front pocket of his bag and shouldered it.

As Gray passed Natsu, the dragon slayer smelled Lyon, stronger than he should have. Natsu frowned, anger swelling before he could help it and grabbed Gray's arm. "Gray-"

"Don't." Gray shrugged away. "Just…don't."

Gray quickly slipped away and slammed the door to the bathroom. Soon Natsu heard running water and rustling.

Natsu took in the flat. The sounds of the people outside trickled through the windows and the white curtains fluttered with each passing breeze. It seemed so peaceful.

Natsu glared at the neatly decorated room. He let out a frustrated sigh and kicked Lyon's coffee table over. It made a satisfying thunk and Natsu walked towards the bedroom. As he passed by the bathroom, he paused for a moment, but he couldn't hear anything but running water and the occasional shift as Gray moved around. A few steps past the bathroom was another door which left slightly ajar. Natsu pushed the door open and stepped in. The moment he did, he did the smell alone stopped him.

The bed was neatly made and there was nothing on the ground or hanging off the wardrobe, like things would be in his own room. The windows were thrown wide open as well, the breeze shifting in and swirling around the room. But even that wasn't enough to rid the smell. Under the musk and sweat, there was Gray and Lyon's scent. Bringing it all together was blood.

Natsu wasn't sure how long he stood there. But he could feel his fire ready to burst.

"Hey, Flame Brain," Gray called from the hall, "let's get out of here."

The flame went out.

There was nothing to fight. What was done, was done. And there wasn't a single thing he could do about it.

/-/-/-/

Gray knew Natsu knew. How could the dragon slayer not know? With that stupid nose of his, Natsu should be able to tell exactly what happened. But Gray wanted to ignore it. He wanted to pretend that it never happened.

And he would pretend, except his stupid hands kept shaking and every fucking time he closed his eyes he saw Lyon gazing down at him through half-lidded eyes. He felt Lyon's hands sliding across his sides and through his hair. Fingertips brushing across his lips and cheeks. The kisses against his jaw as cold skin lay across his torso. He felt the bubbling helplessness stuck in his chest. The inability to even -

Gray frowned and pressed his hands against his eyes and then started pulling at his hair. At least Natsu had been too motion sick to even notice his idiosyncrasies. They got back to Magnolia this afternoon, but Gray hadn't been feeling like seeing everyone. He stayed in his apartment, on his couch, his bags left packed by the front door. The lights weren't on yet and the creeping darkness was starting to make the entire apartment pitch black.

He felt drained and tired. But he didn't want to sleep. He knew what would come if he closed his eyes. Gray knew he would be looking forwards to a few sleepless nights. He couldn't stay here in the dark though. Not when it was so easy to fall asleep. He would have to get up to turn on the lights, but he didn't want to move.

Whenever he did there was a soreness that was radiating up through his back stemming from his ass. Each step reminded him: irritated skin, swollen, and sore. Lyon inside of him, thick and warm and pulsing between each thrust. Lyon's fingers digging into his hips and his grunts which slowly filled the air. Each time, Lyon would begin quietly as if he were afraid. Each moan was a soft exhale against his neck. Then they would build and grow until it seemed as if Lyon screamed. The thrusting as it stroked something inside of him sent a small shiver of pleasure shaking him to his core. So very, very wrong. It wasn't supposed to feel good. And the fact that it did only made it worse. It made his stomach clench and bile rise. He felt like choking. Like something was crawling up his throat.

But it didn't hurt. It didn't. Not really. Not in any significant way.

Fuck.

It didn't even hurt.

Gray forced himself up slowly and flickered on the light. He leaned against the doorway for a moment. He should grab something to eat too. But his stomach clenched at the thought of food. He stumbled back to the couch and sat carefully. Pulling a book off the coffee table, Gray began to flip through it.

/-/-/-/

AN: Thanks for all the reviews! Don't get used to me updating so soon.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thanks for all the reviews!

/-/-/-/

"Natsu-sama?" Juvia said.

He was halfway through his dinner, and he was not going to stop. Natsu stuffed the potatoes into his mouth and nodded at Juvia to continue speaking.

"Have you seen Gray-sama?" Juvia's glanced downwards and blushed. "Juvia has not seen him since Lyon took him home. Did something happen when Gray-sama went to visit Lamina Scale?"

Natsu looked around the guild hall searching for the ice mage. But it wasn't like he had expected Juiva to be wrong about anything that concerns Gray. "He hasn't been around?"

Juvia shook her head. "Juvia has gone to Gray-sama's apartment, but no one answers the door. Is Gray-sama okay?"

Natsu frowned. He stuffed the rest of his food into his mouth before rushing out of the guild.

They got back from Lamina Scale a couple of days ago and Natsu had been pulled on a quick mission with Lucy right away. He had worried about Gray and wanted to stay, but with Lucy begging for help and Gray urging him to leave, he agreed to help Lucy out.

"Open up!" Natsu knocked on Gray's door for the fourth time before deciding to kick it down. Normally, he would climb through the window, but he was already at the door and it would be such a bother to go back outside just to climb back in.

The lock broke the door frame and the door bounced hard against the wall. Natsu caught the door knob as it bounced back. "Gray! I'm coming in!"

There was no answer, but as Natsu paused in the entry way he could hear running water. He kicked off his shoes and walked towards the sound. The light in the living room was left on, though no one was there. Down the dark hallway the bathroom door was cracked open, light spilling softly along the floor.

Natsu marched forwards and shouted as he opened the bathroom door. "Gray!"

Natsu paused as he smelled fresh blood. The mirror was broken, bits were across the tiled floor but a good chunk of it still hung on the wall. Blood stuck to a fist shaped crater. Gray had his hands under running water, his left hand tightly clutching at his right.

"Shit." Natsu carefully stepped in to the small bath and grabbed Gray's hand. There were still bits of glass stuck in Gray's skin, all of the cuts bleeding sluggishly.

"When did you get here?" Gray asked his eyes focused on his hands.

"Just now." Natsu grabbed a hand towel from the rack behind them and wrapped it loosely around Gray's hand. He pushed the ice mage towards the toilet and slammed the lid shut before he made Gray sit. Natsu quickly opened up the medicine cabinet while carefully maneuvering around the glass on the floor, and grabbed a few bandages and the alcohol. It took a few extra minutes to find a pair of tweezers, which he quickly rinsed off and dried before returning to Gray.

The ice mage hadn't moved an inch.

"What happened?" Natsu took a seat on the edge of the bathtub placing his supplies next to him.

"What's it look like?" Gray muttered.

"Idiot." Natsu reached out and carefully pulled Gray's hand towards him. He was surprised Gray let him. Natsu worked carefully to pull out all the pieces, dropping each piece into the trash can between the toilet and tub. Gray barely reacted, even as the largest piece was tugged out and began to bleed he stayed stone still.

"Maybe you should let Wendy take a look at this." Natsu picked up the hand towel and the alcohol. He poured some on the towel and pressed the entire thing to Gray's hand.

Gray hissed a bit and he shrugged one shoulder.

After a few seconds, Natsu pulled the now pinkish towel off and picked up the bandages. He wrapped the bandaged carefully around Gray's knuckles, then he went back and wrapped each finger. At last Natsu tied off the bandage and started to clean up. Gray flexed his wrapped hand a bit before tucking his arm to his abdomen.

"Be careful when you stand up." Natsu said. The glass shards were all over the floor, the larger bits of the mirror were still attached to the wall, but there were shattered pieces across the tile. Natsu glanced at Gray's feet and noticed a few light scratches. He sighed inwardly; he'd have to clean up this mess before they did anything else.

Gray carefully followed Natsu out of the bathroom and into the living room. Natsu pushed the ice mage towards the couch as he went to the kitchen to find a broom and a dust pan. He went as fast as he could trying his best to get all the pieces. The pieces left on the wall, Gray would have to deal with later. When he returned to the living room, it hadn't seemed like Gray had moved at all.

"Did you eat?" Natsu asked.

Gray shook his head.

"You have anything here?" Natsu asked. He wasn't sure why he was being nice. This wasn't their relationship at all. "I can go get something if you want."

Gray shook his head again.

"You have to eat something." Natsu said. "It smells like you haven't been out of here in days."

Gray shrugged.

Most of the apartment seemed untouched since Gray had returned. The small pack sat against the wall near the front door. The windows were still shut tight and the dark blue curtains were drawn. With a small sigh, Natsu shook his head. Gray wouldn't get stuck like this. Natsu dragged Gray into the kitchen and started digging around in the pantry. He could probably put something small together. Despite what most people thought, he could throw a simple meal together when he needs to. Gray had to keep something on hand; he would figure out some food and then get Gray to bed. Things would look better tomorrow.

"It didn't hurt." Gray said.

Natsu slowly turned to face Gray. All thoughts of food put on hold.

"Not the first time," Gray said, his words were shaky. Timid. Like he didn't know if he should share. Nothing like he was normally. "Not the last."

The slow anger that had been pushed to the back of Natsu's mind came back full force.

"And not any of the times in between." Gray said, caught somewhere between an accusation and a plea. "I thought it was supposed to hurt."

Natsu's hands clenched into a fist, he could feel his fire beginning to burn.

"But it doesn't." Gray stood quickly, both his hands clenching into fists, the blood stains starting to spot through the bandages. The room grew cold. "Not really."

The cold was familiar territory and Natsu felt his fire respond.

"Why doesn't it hurt?" Suddenly, all the fight left Gray. The air warmed as Gray's shoulders slumped, his arms hanging loosely at his sides.

Natsu shrugged, even though Gray didn't seem to be looking at him. Something was stuck in his throat, trying to get out but he couldn't get any words out; he usually had something to say. Anything. Stupid things that made no difference at the end of the day. But he couldn't seem to force anything out.

"If it doesn't hurt, then it shouldn't matter. Right?" Gray asked quietly. "He didn't hurt me. And if I don't think too hard, I'm okay."

"Shut up." Anger surged through him again, thudding fiercely in his heart. Natsu pushed Gray and the ice mage bumped against the kitchen counter. "Lyon fucked you. He fucking drugged you and raped you. Don't make excuses for that asshole."

Gray pushed Natsu back. "You don't understand."

"No." Natsu growled, standing toe to toe with the damned ice mage. "I get it. He's your brother. But this is fucked up."

The very air seemed to freeze. Natsu glared and Gray glared back. The moment stretched, time seemingly still.

Gray's eyes shifted away, the tension drained to nothing. "Shit, Natsu." Gray groaned as he rubbed his face. "Shit." His hands clenched tight, the blood dark against the white bandages. "I can't - He's the only – Fuck."

Natsu stood still for a long time while Gray stared blankly into the floor. He forced himself to move when his legs began to feel numb. He turned back to the cabinet and pulled a couple bags of ramen out. "You need to eat."

/-/-/-/

It was cold and damp by the river and he really should be home, but he couldn't sleep. There was no use in trying. Not now when the hint of dawn has finally touched the horizon. He stretched out his cramped muscles and stared into the passing water.

Gray had been going on mission after mission. As long as he kept himself busy, as long as he threw himself into the days and drove himself late into the nights, until the weariness settled deep into his bones, most of the time he would be asleep before his head even hit his pillow.

Only he was still constantly aware that something was fundamentally different.

Natsu never let him go alone. If it wasn't the stupid flame brain, it would be Happy or Lucy or Erza or Juvia. Hell, even Loke went a couple of times. It didn't seem like there was ever an end to the amount of people who would tag along on his missions. They were being suffocating. They didn't know. At least not the entire truth. Natsu told them something, but Gray never really asked exactly what everyone knew. Gray felt a little better with Natsu, Erza, and Loke. They didn't treat him any different than before. When Lucy or Juvia tagged along with him, he felt like everything he did was being carefully observed and catalogued. They were careful, like he was fragile. Like he wasn't the same anymore. But they tried, he could tell they tried. Still, it was getting annoying.

But then… then, there were the nights. Nights when even exhaustion wasn't enough to keep him from dreaming. He'd wake up, a shout on his lips with sheets tangled around and holding him tight. Wrapped around him like how Lyon…

He never got back to sleep on those nights. They stretched on and on. And he would toss and turn and wonder. Sometimes he'd wait for the sun to rise. But usually he'd go for a walk. He walked the entire length of Magnolia one night. The brisk night numbing his fingers and whisking away all his thoughts.

Now, Magnolia was starting to wake, Gray could hear people starting to pass by on the road. He should return home in an hour or so to get cleaned up. Natsu and Lucy were probably going to come by this morning, the two of them had gotten in the habit of stopping by his place before heading to the guild. Once there Gray usually headed straight for the mission board. Natsu and Lucy would go up to Mira and order food for the three of them. They would make sure Gray ate something and by unspoken agreement amongst the guild someone would go with Gray on the mission. He found it annoying. But he couldn't get them to stop. And if he were honest with himself, he didn't try all that hard to get them to stop. It was nice to have someone there.

It had been months, but still his thoughts would stray back to that night. At the same time, oddly enough, it was getting easier to forget. Many days, he could slip into who he used to be and most of the time he even felt like he used to. He'd smile and laugh and pick fights. Maybe he was getting better. But then there would be moments when a stray brush felt like a gentle touch. When a brawl ended with someone on top of him. When someone grabs his shoulder or arm or wrist in just that certain way. When…

Fuck Lyon anyways. Fuck him and his stupid letter. He could go rot in hell for all Gray cared. Gray didn't need any of this. He didn't need him. He didn't need anyone or anything.

Except Fairy Tail.

/-/-/-/

There was a major break in the case and the mission was wrapping up quicker than Lyon had been prepared for. One day, he was deep undercover with a persona he had spent months crafting and the next he was at a celebration and getting his reward thrust into his hands. Not that he wasn't happy that the people were now safe, but he was not ready for his mission to be over. He thought he still had time.

Going back to Fiore meant going back home. It meant he had to see Gray. He made a promise to himself that he would go back and see this through. But he wasn't ready to face any of it. Not yet. It made his stomach churn just thinking about it. He couldn't go home. How could he? He had to make it right, but he couldn't see how. He had to own up, but there was no forgiveness for him to seek.

He still had those dreams. They had only gotten more intense since that night. Lyon could still remember how Gray felt, how he smelled and tasted. That night had only added to the fire. In a way he wanted more, but he had no right. He felt enough guilt for what had already happened.

It was worse because he knows Gray remembers. He knows Gray remembers how Lyon couldn't stop, how he touched him and how he felt every aspect of Gray's body. The whispers he muttered, thinking that they would fall on deaf ears. Lyon had messed up and the worst part of it was that he wasn't sure if he felt worst for betraying Gray's trust or for getting caught betraying his trust.

If the dosage was right, if Lyon hadn't turned Gray over to see his face, if Gray hadn't opened his eyes and blinked at him slowly. His dark eyes so full of uncomprehending pain. Lyon would have been able to go home already. He'd have the guilt, he would always have the guilt. But he was prepared to find a way to squish it somewhere to the back of his mind and heart. Because he would still be able to see Gray. And no matter how much his heart clenched, it wouldn't have mattered because he could have still seen him. But now Gray knew and he was hurt, Lyon wouldn't be able to face him. Out of everything, he hated to see Gray hurt.

The morning he left, when he wrote the letter with a shaking hand. Blood still tickling down his face, the numerous cuts he made with his razor still stinging. He had promised Gray that he would make it up to him. Somehow.

With a heavy heart, he began his long journey home.

/-/-/-/

AN: I want to say that I make no promises. About anything. From however long it takes to update to whatever happens between Natsu, Gray, and Lyon. No promises at all. It's safer that way.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning: Explicit NON-CON.**

_/-/-/-/_

_There's feather light touches running up and down his sides. Across his stomach and down his thighs. They're there for a moment and then they're gone. Only to appear a few moments later. It's hard to tell how much time is passing. He's sleeping but not asleep. _

_The touches became solid and rougher. Heat and force and pleasure. Gray isn't sure if he likes it. Any of it. It seems off. _

_It's hard to tell if they any of it is real. If the hands are really there or if he's in a dream. It feels like a dream. Everything's disconnected and nothing seemed to match up with any prior logic. One moment there are fingers lightly ghosting through his hair and the next hands are clenched tight around his waist. He can't see. His eyes are so heavy. Fingers in his mouth, so rough and plunging he chokes a bit. He catches a glimpse of white hair and dark eyes before his eyes slams shut again. Light flicks against his nipples. Saliva smears across his lips. A hand running down his chest. Soft, electrical pulls at his dick. He groans. He pushes and tries to get his heavy eyes to at least open. To at least see what's going on around him. But his head feels muddled, every action and thought cloudy and seemingly inconsequential and it takes so much effort. _

_Then there's something inside of him, in a place he had never let anyone touch before. But that's not right either. It happened already. He thinks he can almost remember it. It feels stretched and hot and cold and wet and too full. Too slick. Too much pressure that disappears and reappears. A pistoning sensation that's invasive and eager. He tries to pull away, but his arms only twitch in response. He tries to yell, but he could only get his jaw to work enough that his saliva doesn't feel stuck like glue in his mouth anymore. The burning increases. Everything's swollen and full and wet. It's starting to feel good. A low burning pleasure that was starting to make him press back. _

_But it's wrong. It's somehow so very wrong. _

_Gray hates to loose control and everything about the situation seems to take it all away from him. He can't move. He can't think. He can't fight._

_He struggles again, pushing against an insurmountable will that seems to keep him still. But nothing breaks, he's not strong enough. _

"Gray!" Erza's voice was clear and strong.

Gray's eyes snapped open. He was breathing heavily and squished into the corner of the train seat. He sat up and turned towards the window to try and get his breathing to smooth out. The county side was flying by as he pressed his hands against his eyes. Lucy and Happy stared at him silently.

Natsu was clenched in a ball huddled and groaning with nausea. That brought a slight smile to Gray's face. Some things would never change.

It was so real. It hadn't been so real in a while.

Erza put her hand on his shoulder and pats it a couple of times. "You were yelling."

"Was I?" Gray was glad that they had their own small compartment.

Erza nodded and she moved to rub at his back.

Gray jolted up and glared at her.

"Sorry." Erza said.

The mission had been a success and it would be just another few hours and he could hole himself up at home until this episode passed. He wasn't sure why he was having so many dreams these last few nights. It gave him a bad feeling at the pit of his stomach.

/-/-/-/

Natsu's motion sickness had gotten them thrown off another train. It wasn't like he was trying to get sick. He felt guilty for making everyone walk, but he was happy that he didn't feel dizzy anymore. And the mission had gone fairly well. They didn't destroy too many buildings and they had been able to leave with most of their reward money intact.

"Could you at least stop smiling?" Lucy growled, smacking Natsu in the head.

"Ow." Natsu rubbed his head. "Sorry."

The walk so far had been hot and humid and stifling. Natsu loved it, this was his favorite time of the year. It reminded him of Igneel's cave, the heat and warmth of the entire place.

Everyone else looked like they were ready to sit until dusk. Lucy was sweating lightly through her tank top. Gray was walking in his boxers and breathing so heavily that he may as well be hyperventilating. Happy had long given up and had squeezed himself into Erza's luggage. Once in a while he could hear a stray mumble about fish, though mostly it was light snoring. Erza was pretty normal, although her brow seemed a bit more damp than normal.

There weren't a lot of trees in the area, mostly they were surrounded by tall grass, yellowing in the summer heat. Natsu squinted into the distance and he thought he could see a tree off in the distance. He couldn't be sure, but as they trudged onward he was certain.

"Look!" Natsu shouted. "A tree!"

Everyone could rest and stop being angry with him. They could wait there until sundown and the heat would lessen. Leaving behind the humidity gently swirling with the stray breeze.

Erza sighed. "Let's keep going. It's only another hour before we get into Magnolia. And we might be able to hitch a ride with someone."

"Aww…" Lucy cried. "Can't we stop for a little bit?"

Natsu caught Erza's gaze and nodded at Gray. Gray had his eyes fixed on the dirt path, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. His breathing seemed a little off, too sharp and loud.

"Alright," Erza softened, "but only for a few minutes. The longer we're out here, the longer we're in the heat."

The closer they got, the more Natsu realized that someone was already under the tree. Then he caught their scent. He growled and rushed ahead.

Lyon was sprawled out under the tree with the same amount of clothing on as Gray. His eyes were closed and his arms were crossed behind his head. As Natsu ran forwards, Lyon glanced over once then twice before he sat up.

"Natsu." Lyon was surprised.

/-/-/-/

"Natsu!" Lucy yelled, but it fell on deaf ears.

They bolted after Natsu, but none of them could run as the stupid dragon slayer. Then Gray saw who was on the ground. For a moment, time stopped. His feet slowed to a stop as his heart spiked with undeniable fear as he realized he hadn't ever thought this moment would come about. He wanted to keep running, but he also couldn't move. He wanted to breathe, but he was already gasping. Then Nastu said something stupid.

Natsu had hauled Lyon up and pushed him against the tree. "I told you to stay the fuck out of Magnolia."

"We're not in Magnolia, ash for brains." Gray said almost automatically.

Natsu didn't turn, his eyes would probably burn a hole through Lyon.

Gray could only see Lyon's forehead and hair. He didn't want to move into the line of sight. It was stupid and cowardly, but he couldn't get his legs to move.

"Gray." Lyon twisted and looked past Natsu.

Gray dropped his gaze. He was such a damn coward.

"Gray!" Lyon said again.

Nastu slammed Lyon against the tree. "What are you doing here?"

"This has nothing to do with you, Salamander." Lyon said.

"I'm not going to say it again." Natsu said.

"Natsu," Lucy said, she was edging into Natsu's line of sight. "I'm not sure what this is about, but why don't we calm down?"

"He deserves everything coming to him." Natsu replied.

Lyon finally pushed Natsu off him and took a step towards Gray, before Natsu tackled him to the ground. They wrestled around for a bit, both of them trying to punch the other and failing.

Erza stepped in and pulled them off of each other. "Stop this at once."

Natsu yanked out of Erza's grip. "If you knew, you'd want me to beat the living shit out of him."

"Natsu." Gray shook his head. "Just…"

"No," Natsu growled, he pushed at Gray. "Just no. This has to stop, Gray. He deserves this. You need to realize -"

"Realize what?" Gray said. His chest puffed up. Anger was good. Anger was better. "I know exactly what he deserves. Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I want him to pay?" He was losing it. But every word was quiet and controlled. "You think I want him to think that what he did was okay? That I liked it? Fuck you, Natsu. You don't get to tell me shit."

"Then do something about it." Natsu yelled. "Don't just let him get away -"

"Do what?" Gray scowled and took a step closer to Natsu. "What the hell should I do? Huh?"

Lucy and Happy stepped back while Erza kept herself between Natsu and Lyon.

"Should I beat the shit out of him?" Gray spat. "Should I never speak to him again? Never even think about him again? Should I report him to the Council? Should I tell everyone what he did?"

Lucy was hugging Happy and Gray knew the whole situation was getting out of his control very quickly.

"What the fuck should I do, Natsu?" Gray yelled. "Will it change anything? Will it give me back the time he took? Will it let me forget? Will it make the dreams stop?"

"Fuck." Gray was breathing heavily, there was a slight whine in his voice that he wished wasn't there. "Will it give me my brother back?"

His eyes were burning. His throat hurt. His chest felt too full. And the silence between him and his friends seemed to stretch across eternity. Gray wiped the back of his hand across his eyes and it came away a bit wet.

"Gray," Lyon croaked, "I'm sorry."

There were tears in Lyon's eyes and a plea in Lyon's voice, something Gray hadn't heard since they were with Ur. It was desperate and too charged with emotion.

Gray shook his head and turned around.

There was a scuffle of footsteps and before Gray could even turn, before anyone could react. Lyon had launched himself at Gray, grabbing his upper arm and pulling Gray into an embrace.

"I'm sorry." Lyon said. The hug was tight, encompassing. "You have to believe me. I'm sorry."

For a moment, he froze. Not out of fear, at least he didn't think so, but out of uncertainty. Gray hated him, but at the same time this was Lyon. He was the last anchor to anything besides Fairy Tail. Despite it all, it was still Lyon. And in many ways that made everything much worse.

Gray pushed Lyon away and punched him across the jaw. Hard enough to knock Lyon to the ground. Hard enough to make Gray want to punch again. Again and again and again. Until blood dripped. Until his arms were too tired to lift . Until this stupid ball of love and hate disappeared and everything would just fucking make sense.

But he couldn't.

It was only another hour or so before they would reach Magnolia. The sun and the shimmering heat would surround them on their trek; but it was better than staying here, under a dying tree with patches of shade and barely enough room for everyone to even sit comfortably. It was better than being stuck. Gray turned to face the road.

/-/-/-/

The end.

/-/-/-/

AN: Well, here it is. The ending you may or may not have been wanting. Hopefully, its been worth the wait. Thank you for the support and all the reviews! This chapter was a hard one to write, not because it was the ending, but because my computer crashed a few times since the last update and I had to start over about three times. Let me know what you guys think! I can't promise anything, but I swear reviews and favorites and everything like that makes me want to write more.


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